What We Found

38 hypotheses tested against 28,658 observations. Two survived Bonferroni correction. Everything is published — including the nulls.

Methodology: Two-sample Welch's t-test with Bonferroni correction for family-wise error (38 simultaneous tests, adjusted threshold: p < 0.00132). Planetary positions via Swiss Ephemeris. Financial data from Yahoo Finance and CoinGecko. Dataset: January 2015 through February 2026. All code and data will be open-sourced.

Tier 1 — Bonferroni Significant

Venus Retrograde and Bitcoin

H004
7-day forward BTC returns during Venus retrograde vs. direct periods
During Venus Rx -1.77%
Normal Periods +1.63%
Difference 3.40pp
P-Value < 0.0000003
The planet traditionally associated with value, beauty, and financial matters appears to correlate with meaningful BTC price suppression during its retrograde phases. Across 10+ years of daily data, Venus retrograde periods show consistently negative 7-day forward returns for Bitcoin, while direct periods show consistently positive returns. The 3.4 percentage point gap survives the strictest multiple-testing correction available.

Bonferroni-adjusted threshold: p < 0.00132. Observed: p < 0.0000003. Passes by three orders of magnitude.

High Aspect Density Suppresses Volatility

H029
BTC 7-day realized volatility during high (9+) vs. normal planetary aspect density
9+ Aspects (within 3°) 2.47%
Baseline Volatility 2.96%
Reduction -16.7%
P-Value < 0.0000005
The counterintuitive finding. When many planetary aspects are simultaneously active (9 or more within 3° orb), BTC volatility drops rather than increases. The leading interpretation: when cosmic "signals" pile up, they cancel each other out — noise becomes white noise. This is the second of two findings that survived Bonferroni correction across all 38 tests.

Bonferroni-adjusted threshold: p < 0.00132. Observed: p < 0.0000005. Passes by three orders of magnitude.

Tier 2 — Preliminary (Nominally Significant)

Cardinal Ingress: Crypto vs. Stocks

H021–H023
14-day returns when outer planets enter cardinal signs (0° Aries/Cancer/Libra/Capricorn)
ETH at 0° Cardinal +11.7%
SPY at 0° Cardinal +1.5%
BTC at 0° Cardinal +4.3%
Status Preliminary
Cryptocurrency appears to respond to cardinal ingress events while traditional equity markets do not. ETH shows the strongest effect. This finding is nominally significant but does not survive Bonferroni correction — it requires more data and out-of-sample validation before we can claim it's real. The differential response between crypto and equities is itself an interesting signal.

Full Hypothesis Registry

Every hypothesis we tested, including the ones that showed nothing. Transparency is non-negotiable.

ID Hypothesis Asset Status
H001Mercury Rx reduces BTC returnsBTCNull
H002Mercury Rx reduces ETH returnsETHNull
H003Mercury Rx reduces SPY returnsSPYNull
H004Venus Rx reduces BTC returnsBTCBonferroni Sig
H005Venus Rx reduces ETH returnsETHPreliminary
H006Venus Rx reduces SPY returnsSPYNull
H007-H012Mars/Jupiter/Saturn Rx effectsVariousNull
H013-H016Eclipse window volatilityVariousPreliminary
H017-H020Full/New Moon returnsVariousNull
H021Cardinal ingress ETH returnsETHPreliminary
H022Cardinal ingress BTC returnsBTCPreliminary
H023Cardinal ingress SPY returnsSPYNull
H024-H028Individual aspect effectsVariousNull
H029High aspect density reduces volBTCBonferroni Sig
H030-H034Planetary speed anomaliesVariousNull
H035-H038Earthquake-ingress correlationsN/APreliminary